According to Tony Robbins, these are our top 6 Human Needs. If we can learn to have balance in each of these areas, we will be more successful and fulfilled. The first four needs are defined as needs of the personality and the last two are identified as needs of the spirit.
Need 1: Certainty
The need for safety, stability, security, comfort, order predictability, control and consistency.
The first human need is the need for Certainty. It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure. It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships. The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. By the way, this is where your real “risk tolerance” comes from.
Need 2: Variety
Need for variety, surprise, challenges, excitement, difference, chaos, adventure change and novelty.
Do you like surprises? You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t want, you call problems! But you still need them to put some muscle in your life. You can’t grow muscle—or character—unless you have something to push back against.
Need 3: Significance
The need to have meaning, special, pride, needed wanted, sense of importance and worthy of love.
We all need to feel important, special, unique, or needed. So how do some of us get significance? You can get it by earning billions of dollars, or collecting academic degrees—distinguishing yourself with a master’s or a PhD. You can build a giant Facebook following. Or you can brag about your achievements and think others really care or by putting tattoos and piercings all over themselves to gain attention. You can get significance by having more or bigger problems than anybody else.
Spending a lot of money can make you feel significant, and so can spending very little.
Everyone perceives and acts out their significance in different ways.
Need 4: Love & Connection
The need for communication, unified, approval and attachment – to feel connected with, intimate and loved by other human beings.
Love is the oxygen of life; it’s what we all want and need most. When we love completely we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people settle on connection, the crumbs of love. You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or prayer, or walking in nature. If nothing else works, you can get a dog.
These first four needs are what I call the needs of the personality. We all find ways to meet these—whether by working harder, coming up with a big problem, or creating stories to rationalize them. The last two are the needs of the spirit. These are more rare—not everyone meets these. When these needs are met, we truly feel fulfilled.
Need 5: Growth
The need for constant emotional, intellectual and spiritual development
If you’re not growing, you’re dying. If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how many friends you have, how many people love you—you’re not going to experience real fulfillment. And the reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give
Need 6: Contribution
The need to give beyond ourselves, give care, protect and serve others.
The Secret to Living is Giving!! Life’s not about me; its about we. Think about it, what’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news? You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.
Life is really about creating meaning. And meaning does not come from what you get, it comes from what you give. Ultimately it’s not what you get that will make you happy long term, but rather who you become and what you contribute will. The ultimate significance in life comes not from something external, but from something internal. It comes from a sense of esteem for ourselves, which is not something we can ever get from someone else. People can tell you you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent, the best, or they can tell you that you are the most horrible human being on earth—but what matters is what you think about yourself. Whether or not you believe that deep inside you are continuing to grow and push yourself, to do and give more than was comfortable or you even thought possible. The wealthiest person on earth is one who appreciates.