Every single time you speak, you have a choice. Either you are going to say something positive, encouraging, or of value. Or you can say something unkind, negative and mean spirited…….. choose kindness. “We respect and want to work with those whom we know we can trust.” We also relate better to women whom we can talk to who will lift us up and encourage us.
I was talking to 2 ladies one night AFTER all of our classes at the gym were done. We were having a very candid conversation about Gossip and how women are wired, in general. One of them said, BFIT is such an amazing culture of women, I always feel safe, encouraged and able to be my true self. She also stated how important it was to her that she could come into a gym full of women and the gossip and negativity didn’t exist (most of the time.. haha). Here is why…… and i would encourage anyone reading this blog, to make this your RULE.
MY RULE: If i am talking to someone individually or in a group, and I start talking about 1 person in particular (and he/she is not in that room), I ALWAYS pretend that person is actually IN the room. Whatever I am saying about that person to the entire group, has to be something I would say if he/she were present. PERIOD. If you are talking about someone in front of others, and you couldn’t say those exact words directly to that person, THEN IT IS GOSSIP! PERIOD! This is my golden rule and has been practicing it for many years. Gossip is a cancer that spreads like fire. It also brings others down around you and quite honestly, make you look like an insecure idiot. I am able to pick out a gossipy, insecure woman a mile away. I don’t associate myself with these types of women, BUT I do try to help them. It is amazing to me that women like this think they are getting any sort of respect. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s annoying and totally not fun to be around this kind of woman. If you want more respect and want to be a women of integrity, gossip has GOT to leave you. Choosing to not gossip is a practiced behavior and a choice. I encourage you to work on this. It only hurts you in the long run.
I expect every woman at BFit who is a part of my program to abide by this, or it will be a huge problem with me. It is so important for me to create an environment of positivity, kindness, friendship and integrity. I need the BFIT environment to be one of high standards. One that when people walk into the gym, they sense an energy of support, fun warmth and positivity. These are the types of women I want to be around, so why should I tolerate anything else in my business… I won’t!!
Everything you say and do reflects on your character and your values. Don’t you want to be the kind of person whom people trust? Don’t you want to be that person that when you walk into a room, people gravitate towards, versus avoid? If you notice people don’t interact with you or avoid you a lot or don’t want to engage in conversation with you, It may be time to evaluate yourself. I would even ask a valued friend their opinion.. sometimes you may not know how negative you are coming off, or maybe you just need an honest friend to say… STOP IT!!!
I want to build a reputation of wisdom and expertise. And I am very honest with every women that comes to my gym. I tell them I do not tolerate gossip, negativity and mean spirited behavior. This is a place where we come together, work on ourselves and improve our entire way of thinking. I can tell you that when you are around other women who are positive and encouraging and do not gossip, it is a relief and gives us room to be ourselves. Building friendships with other like minded women is so powerful.
Associate with people who are smart, wise and kind. They will help you grow, and you will inspire them as well.
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